For All Nails #325: Live From Melbourne
By Johnny Pez
The trouble with having a reputation for fearlessness, Theresa Gugliano had learned, was that sometimes you had to live up to it. When you worked in a business dominated by vacuous baritones, you needed something to set yourself apart, and for Gugliano, it had been her willingness to go where other vitavision reporters wouldn’t. Annam, Pashtunistan, Grão Pará, Victoria –- she had seen them all, and survived them all. So naturally, when the Northern Confederation Communications Channel’s news department wanted someone to go to Melbourne to find out whether Vincent Mercator was serious about using his hydrogen fusion bombs against the government of Australia, they decided to send her.
She knew that some other field reporters had been posted to other threatened national capitals, such as Copenhagen and Taipei, but Melbourne was widely regarded as the most likely target of Mercator’s wrath. As she stood at the northern end of Cook Park, across Croyden Street from the Executive Mansion, Gugliano could hear her own voice over her earpiece as the news desk in Burgoyne replayed a recorded report she had filed in the morning, explaining the situation:
“Australia is probably the second-most Kramer-friendly country in the world after Taiwan, and Governor-General Loy was the first world leader to openly reject Mercator’s demand that the company’s assets be confiscated and its surviving upper management arrested. If Mercator is serious about blackmailing the nations of the world into dismembering Kramer Associates, this is where he’ll make that fact known, in a blinding flash of atomic fire.”
The recorded voice of Charles Murphy, the NCCC desk anchor, then asked, “So is the Australian government just going to ignore Mercator’s threat?”
“They’re not ignoring it, no,” she heard herself answer. “The government has spent the last thirty-six hours evacuating as many people as possible from Melbourne -- an immense task that’s being carried out at the same time as ongoing relief operations in Bali. There are nearly four million people in the greater Melbourne area. The people in the outer suburbs are being advised to take shelter in their own basements and the local atomic shelters that have been established in the last ten years. However, the neighborhoods in the Port Jackson area around Melbourne Harbour have been evacuated to emergency camps that have been set up around the capital’s perimeter. The major exception is Governor-General Loy and his cabinet, who will all be within the Executive Mansion when the deadline passes. All except Minister of War Antonelli, who is at an undisclosed location, preparing to assume the office of governor-general if Mercator does carry out his threat.”
As planned, her earlier recorded report was cut off there, and Murphy starting speaking live from the studio news desk in Burgoyne. “That was Theresa Gugliano from earlier this evening. We now go live to Theresa in Melbourne as the last minutes of Colonel Mercator’s forty-eight hour deadline go by. Are you there, Theresa?”
Gugliano was ready to go on the air, with her back to the Executive Mansion and her cameraman Benny Green framing her shot with the ease of long experience. The red light atop Benny’s camera went on, and she said, “I’m here, Charles. As you can see, there are no lokes passing by on Croyden Street.” Benny slowly panned away from her, showing the audience in North America the empty expanse of Croyden Street, normally one of the busiest streets in Australia. She continued, “Central Melbourne has become a ghost town, with most of the residents evacuated and traffic being routed away.” As Benny continued to pan around, Gugliano narrated, “What you’re looking at now is Cook Park, the ‘Playground of Melbourne,’ with the Grimes Memorial at the far end. On a sunny early-summer Saturday like today, there would normally be tens of thousands of people out enjoying themselves. As you can see, today Cook Park is completely deserted, except for a handful of reporters from around the world.”
“Theresa,” she heard over her earpiece, “I’m going to have to interrupt you. Right now, we’re counting down the last seconds before Colonel Mercator’s ultimatum expires. Ten seconds. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two. One.” Murphy paused, and Gugliano stood stock still as Mercator’s deadline came and went. The thought came to her that if this were a Mexican horror film, five seconds would go by while the audience sighed in relief, and then the monster would abruptly appear out of nowhere and start killing people. Five seconds went by, and then ten, and the empty park remained both empty and undestroyed.
Murphy began speaking again. “Theresa, we’re getting reports now from Taipei, Tokyo, Copenhagen, Canton, and other target cities. No Mercator bombs have detonated. No detonations, and no further warnings or other messages from Colonel Mercator. It’s been almost a minute now since Mercator’s deadline, and nothing has happened.” Benny had resumed panning the camera, letting Murphy’s audience see the undamaged buildings bordering Cook Park.
“And now the guessing game begins,” Murphy continued. “Has Colonel Mercator had a change of heart, or was he trying to bluff the world into eliminating Kramer Associates? Are there still Mercator bombs in place, or was the bomb he set off in Bali the only one in his possession? As the worldwide search for Colonel Mercator continues, those questions will be uppermost in everyone’s minds.”
As Benny finished his pan and brought the camera back on Gugliano, Murphy said, “Theresa, any thoughts?”
Gugliano found herself suddenly overwhelmed by the enormity of Mercator’s actions. “Charles, if this really was nothing more than a colossal bluff by Mercator with the aim of panicking the world’s nations into destroying Kramer Associates, then ... then Mercator really is insane. An insane man has been the absolute ruler of the United States of Mexico for over twenty years. If President Moctezuma hadn’t driven him from power, who knows what sort of calamity the world might be facing today? As bad as the events of the last two days have been, we could have been looking at far worse.”
“Thank you, Theresa,” she heard Murphy say, “and thank you for the great job you’re doing down there. Now we take you to the Executive Mansion for the reaction from Governor-General Skinner.”
The red light on the camera blinked out, and through her earpiece Gugliano could hear the live feed from the network, but she was still preoccupied with her thoughts. Had Immanuel Moctezuma really saved the world from the wrath of a vengeful lunatic?
Forward to FAN #326: Don't Stand So Close to Me.
Forward to 29 December 1974: Sunday Morning Tea.
Return to For All Nails.