It's a Nice Day to Start Again

For All Nails #139: It's a Nice Day to Start Again

by Johnny Pez

4 October 1974

Sophia was completely surprised by the crowd at the airpark.

Afterwards, she realised that she had been expecting the authorities in Bogotá to treat her upcoming marriage to King Fernando the same way the authorities in London had. From the brief wedding announcement in the Times in July to the unheralded departure of her aeromobile from Perivale Airpark in the dead of night, Sophia's engagement to the King of New Granada had been given as little notice in Britain as the government could contrive.

Was the government trying to pretend that her marriage wasn't happening? Or was it simply their reflexive habit of downplaying the doings of the Royal Family? Probably the latter, Sophia decided. The government had spent literally centuries learning how to cover up the Royal Family's more unappetising actions (and practically all of them were unappetising to one degree or another), and they had now reached the point where they covered up everything the Royals did outside of a handful of carefully scripted public events. This despite the fact that her marriage was supposed to be part of the prime minister's much-ballyhooed Grand Alliance, the biggest foreign-policy coup the Nats had managed to score since gaining power. She wondered if Gold had even noticed.

Sophia herself had been too preoccupied with her own preparations to pay more than minimal heed to the publicity surrounding the engagement, or rather to the near total lack thereof. The final week before her departure had been one mad rush, and by the time she made it onto the aeromobile she had been so exhausted she had dropped off to sleep before they lifted off. She remained asleep for most of the flight, and would have slept through all of it had Daisy Fuentes not awakened her an hour before their arrival in Bogotá. Freshly showered, dressed and made up, she had walked through the aeromobile's hatch to find herself facing a teeming throng.

The aeromobile was five hundred feet from the terminal building. It seemed to Sophia that every square inch (or should that be centimeter?) of space on the building's roof had been crammed full of people, while more were gathered on the ground in front of the terminal, held back by orange sawhorse barricades. Many of them were waving the Neogranadian flag or the Union Jack, or both. Some were holding up banners that read VIVA SOPHIA or VIVA INGLATERRA or RULE BRITANNIA (the last, a National Renewal Party slogan, she could have done without). Altogether, there must have been at least thirty thousand people turned out to witness her arrival, and as soon as she appeared in the hatchway of the aeromobile, they raised up a cheer that came close to deafening her.

An image entered her mind of ex-Colonel Elbittar, dressed in the comically elaborate uniform she had seen him in during the King's coronation, reading a report at his desk. The slightly less elaborately dressed flunky who had accompanied him in the receiving line entered, saluted, and said, "Your Supremacy, the British princess is due in at the airpark at 0900 hours tomorrow."

Elbittar, still engrossed in his report, said without looking up, "I want thirty thousand cheering people there to greet her. See to it."

"Yes, Your Supremacy," the flunky replied, and gave another salute before about-facing and marching from the office.

Was it possible, Sophia wondered, that they were here voluntarily, that they were actually glad to see her? It didn't seem likely, given that New Granada had been a republic two years before, and that Elbittar's monarchy was so new that the paint was still wet.

Still, she knew how to act in front of a crowd: smile and wave. So, smiling and waving, she descended the steps to the landing field, and thus stood once again upon the soil (well, concrete) of New Granada -- her new homeland.

Off to the right a square had been roped off, and within it stood a score or so of men and two women, as well as two vitavision cameras; the press area, of course. She turned to face them and gave them a smile and a wave, resulting in a barrage of flash bulbs going off. Fifteen feet beyond the press area, someone had set up a podium festooned with sky blue and gold bunting. She thought it more cheerfully colourful than the red, white and navy blue of Great Britain.

Daisy, Dr. Alvarez and Brother Francisco had followed her down from the aeromobile, and the Doctor came forward to join her. "If you'll just step this way, Your Highness, we'd like you to say a few words," he said as he led her to the festive podium.

Oh, blast! After taking off from Perivale, the Doctor had told her she'd be expected to give a short speech at the airpark, and it had completely slipped her mind. Now she would have to extemporise -- in Spanish!

The podium faced the press area, so she focused on one of the vitavision cameras. To buy herself a little time, she said, "Buenos dias, Nueva Granada!" followed by what she thought of as her Gracious Smile. As she had expected, the crowd -- which was now behind and to her left -- erupted into prolonged cheers. While that was going on, she quickly translated her standard Happy to Be Here speech into Spanish -- with a few suitable modifications.

"People of New Granada, it is with great joy that I come here today to take my place among you." Another round of cheering. "It is wonderful to be back in this beautiful land." More cheering. "My only wish is that I shall be worthy to serve as your Queen," (more cheering) "and to serve as a wife to His Majesty, King Fernando." That last bit was greeted with a particularly loud cheer. Sophia was not surprised to learn that his new subjects loved Fernando as much as she did. Sudden inspiration led her to add, "Today I consider myself the luckiest woman on the face of the earth!"

There was an even louder cheer, and Sophia impulsively turned to face the crowd and threw her arms wide. After a few seconds of exulting in the crowd's adulation, she noticed the Doctor gesturing in subdued fashion for her to follow him. A livery had pulled up beside the aeromobile, and the party from Britain were entering it. Sophia gave a goodbye wave to the cameras, then another to the crowd, then followed the others into the back of the livery.

Daisy and the Brother were full of praise for Sophia's performance, the Doctor less so.

"The speech was adequate," he said grudgingly.

"Adequate?" said Daisy in outrage. "Brother Francisco, listen to the man! She was terrific, Doctor, and you know it! Your Highness, after today, there won't be a soul alive in New Granada who isn't in love with you."

"As long as one particular New Granadan is in love with me," said Sophia, "that's all that matters."

"No need for you to worry on that score, Your Highness," said Brother Francisco. "That is one heart you've had in your safekeeping since the coronation."

"Although," said Daisy mischievously, "there are rumours around the palace about that North American space pilot."

"Good Lord," said Sophia, "you don't mean that frightful oik with the red hair, do you?"

If looks could kill, Daisy would have been struck down in an instant by the Doctor's glare. "That's quite enough of that nonsense, Señorita Fuentes," he said icily.

After the wedding, Sophia decided, she'd have to ask Fernando about that space pilot. "D'you know, I ran into her at the reception. She seemed to think I was a friend of hers from Manitoba, of all places."

Daisy laughed, while Brother Francisco asked, "Could you have a twin in Manitoba?"

"It's actually not as farfetched as it sounds," said Sophia. "My Uncle Arthur was notorious for leaving by-blows in unexpected places. And the oik did mention that her friend's mother was an adulteress."

"So," said Daisy, "perhaps there is a branch of Britain's royal family in far-off Manitoba."

"Just as there will soon be one in far-off New Granada," Brother Francisco pointed out.

Just then the livery passed through the airpark's exit gate, and Sophia was astonished to find the street outside lined with more people, who also cheered as they went past. Whoever had made the arrangements for the livery (Elbittar? Fernando? The nameless flunky?) had been foresighted enough not to choose one with tinted windows. Sophia was in full view of the people lining the street to their right, and as in all the American nations, vehicles in New Granada drove on the right. Sophia resumed smiling and waving.

Out of the corner of her eye, Sophia noticed Daisy waving to the multitude on the livery's left. "For shame, Daisy," she said. "You're going to make all your countrymen think that I'm blonde and wear spectacles."

"Not at all, Your Highness," said the blonde, bespectacled Daisy. "I know my people. By now, there won't be a New Granadan alive who won't have seen your face a thousand times in the vita and the magazines. It's another custom we've picked up from the Mexicans."

As it turned out, the whole way from the airpark to the Royal Palace was lined with cheering crowds. When their destination came into view, Sophia breathed a sigh of relief that she could stop smiling and waving.

She hadn't been counting on Elbittar, though. Sophia found the recently renamed Royal Plaza bursting with people. A platform had been set up in front of the main entrance to the palace, done up in more sky blue and gold bunting and with a dozen or so Neogranadian flags flying above it. The platform held at least fifty people, including Elbittar and Fernando. It was clear that the Colonel-turned-Prime Minister intended to wring as much favourable publicity from her arrival as he possibly could.

The livery driver took them clockwise around the plaza, so that Sophia was always facing the crowd. She was still facing them when the vehicle halted in front of the platform. Bowing to the inevitable, Sophia let the driver open her door for her, and stepped out to another wave of cheers. A military band on a separate platform broke out into "God Save the King" -- not her favourite tune, but at least it wasn't "Rule Britannia".

An officer of the FANG, the Fuerzas Armadas de Nueva Granada, met her as she emerged from the livery. With a salute he said, "Welcome to New Granada, Your Highness. I am Major Gandolfini. I have been assigned to escort you to His Majesty the King and the Prime Minister."

Nodding, she answered, "Thank you, Major, you are most courteous. Please lead the way."

Sophia followed Major Gandolfini up a set of wooden stairs to the platform, where she found herself surrounded by men, some in uniforms, others in formal civilian attire. One of the latter was Alexander Elbittar, who had evidently given up wearing uniforms after naming himself Prime Minister.

Fernando, ironically, was the one dressed in a Field Marshal's uniform, and it wasn't the elaborately gaudy one Elbittar had worn at the coronation, either. Instead of scarlet edged in gold, Fernando's uniform was maroon and black. Sophia decided that this was the standard dress uniform, and that Elbittar's version had been specially made up for the coronation. And a good thing, too; Elbittar had appeared faintly ridiculous at the coronation, but Fernando looked quite splendid. Of course, Sophia admitted to herself that she was biased.

Fernando smiled when he saw her, and it was like the three months since her last visit had never happened. He looked the same as he had the last time she had seen him, the morning after the coronation. Her family was formally taking its leave of New Granada, and he had come to their rooms in the palace to see them off.

Her father, subdued by a savage hangover, had quietly thanked the new King Fernando for his hospitality. Her mother had simply nodded, while her brother Edward, blinking from lack of sleep, had said, "You got some nice girls here."

She had said, "It's been a pleasure, Your Majesty."

He had smiled and answered, "The pleasure was all mine, Your Highness. And my thanks for your gift yesterday," followed by a brief wink.

Now she responded to his smile with a wink of her own. He took her hand in his and led her to the front of the platform, where a podium held three different microphones, and a vitavision camera looked on from the right.

"My people," Fernando said, and Sophia could hear his amplified voice echoing from the plaza, "I wish to present to you the woman who will be my wife, and your Queen: Her Highness, Princess Sophia Charlotte Elizabeth of Great Britain."

This time the cheering seemed to go on and on, and in the enclosed space of the plaza the volume had trebled at least. Sophia wondered whether she would still be able to hear afterwards. The noise was actually painful enough to force a couple of tears from her eyes, but she somehow managed to maintain her smile. She knew that she would be expected to speak again, but the noise drove all thought from her mind, to say nothing of causing every word of Spanish to disappear from her memory.

As the cheering finally began to die away, Sophia thought quickly. She wouldn't be able to give her Happy to Be Here speech from the airpark again, but perhaps she could make do with something else. There was Douglas Watson's speech before Parliament in 1933, for example. That had been very well received at the time, and had given Bolingbroke's government a great deal of confidence in dealing with the Germans. Like all Britons, Sophia couldn't imagine what the Johnnies had been thinking of when they rejected Watson for the odious and aptly-named Hogg five years later.

"Good people of New Granada," she began slowly as she tried to remember the Spanish for 'heart', "I thank you for your extraordinary welcome" ('corazón', that was it!) "with all my heart." There was another round of cheering, good, more time to translate. "I bring you the earnest good wishes of my father, King Henry," (it was a good thing she didn't suffer from the same affliction as that Italian doll in the story) "and Sir Geoffrey Gold," (that was true enough; Sir Geoffrey would offer his good wishes to the Devil himself if it would gain him help against the Germans) "and the people of Great Britain." In truth, of course, most of the people in Great Britain had either never heard about her upcoming match with Fernando or had long since forgotten about it. And few of them likely even knew where New Granada was.

"When my father first told me that King Fernando had asked for my hand in marriage," (was she using the right word for hand? Did they even use that expression here? Too late to worry about it now) "I told him he had made me the happiest woman in England." And hadn't that ruined the nasty old bugger's day! "During my first visit to New Granada three months ago, I fell in love with the country, and with her king." Amazing, she had actually said two true things in a row! "It fills my heart with joy to know that I will soon be a New Granadan myself." It also filled her heart with joy to know that she wouldn't be going back to Buckingham Palace. "It is my sincere hope that this marriage, and the treaty of alliance that led to it, will mark the beginning of a long and happy era of friendship and goodwill between New Granada and the United Empire." That seemed reasonable enough; Sir Geoffrey needed all the allies he could get.

Sophia was running out of both inspiration and Spanish, so she decided to bring her speech to a close. Figuring it was best to finish with a nice patriotic flourish, she said, "And so, let me conclude by saying, LONG LIVE NEW GRANADA!" That set off another blast of loud cheering from the crowd, but this time it didn't seem so bad. Perhaps she was going deaf.

Going deaf would not have seemed like a great burden to Sophia in the next hour, as her own speech was followed by others from Elbittar and various other New Granadan luminaries welcoming her to the country. Elbittar's speech was mercifully brief -- he was a man of action rather than words -- but the other members of his government had apparently been chosen for their prolixity.

Fortunately, Elbittar seemed to have no greater tolerance for long speeches than she had. He would unobtrusively tap on a speaker's shoulder, and the speaker would quickly wind up his remarks. Eventually all the speakers had spoken, the band played "El Día de la Patría", and Fernando escorted Sophia from the platform into the palace. They were met there by Daisy Fuentes, who curtseyed to His Majesty and said to Sophia, "There you are! Come along, you've just got time to change before the formal luncheon."

"Formal luncheon?" said Sophia, appalled.

"I'm afraid so," said Fernando in evident sympathy. "It's a way of introducing you to important businessmen and landowners. If the regime didn't have their support, New Granada really would be a military dictatorship."

"Instead of an oligarchy with pretensions of constitutionalism," Daisy added.

With a rueful look, Fernando said, "As you say, Señorita Fuentes, though some of us hope to make the pretensions a reality." Lifting Sophia's hand to his lips, Fernando said to her, "Until we meet again, Sophia."

Sophia felt her heart flutter. "Until then, Fernando."

She followed Daisy through the twisted labyrinthine corridors and stairways of the palace until they came to the royal apartments, a Spartan set of rooms on the third storey. "Welcome to your new home, Your Highness," said Daisy.

Spacious and well-lit, but dreadfully underdecorated, Sophia decided. It would take weeks to transform them into someplace livable. In the meantime, she would have to prepare for a meal with a roomful of important businessmen and landowners.

As Daisy helped her dress for the luncheon, Sophia asked, "Why is this place so bare? You'd think a building that's been in continuous use for two centuries would have accumulated more decor."

"Oh, it did," Daisy assured her, "especially under the Hermións. There were dozens of them living here in the old days, and they all loved to decorate lavishly. After Fatherland Day, though, all their assets were confiscated and sold off, and the Prime Minister hasn't bothered to redecorate."

"Then it's about time someone did," said Sophia.

When Sophia was finally done up to Daisy's satisfaction in a blue silk dress (an original Alonso from Buenos Aires), King Fernando appeared to escort her to the dining hall. On the way there, he filled her in on some of their guests. They sounded very much like a similar group in Britain would have, except for their predominantly Spanish names.

Entering the dining hall, Sophia decided that they also looked just like their counterparts in Britain. Some were corpulent, some were not, and a few were actually thin. The youngest were in their forties, the oldest over seventy. The men were dressed in minor variations of basic formalwear, while their wives engaged in a subdued but savage competition with each other over who could be the most unostentatiously ostentatious. It actually came as a surprise to Sophia when they addressed her in Spanish.

But there were ... differences ... nevertheless. The businessmen were much the same as those in Britain, discussing the details of commerce and complaining about taxes. The landowners, though, were disturbingly different from British landowners. When she was introduced to Señor Buceli of Meta Province, he had greeted her by declaring his admiration for the NRP and saying, "If Señor Gold needs help exterminating any troublemaking Jeffersonistas in England, just tell him to send word to us. Our boys know how to deal with those scum."

Sophia thanked Señor Buceli and smiled her Gracious Smile, then turned and gave Fernando a look of outrage. This man is one of the regime's supporters?

"Later," he mouthed to her in English.

After that, the luncheon took on a nightmare quality for Sophia. How many of these men she was smiling benignly at had the blood of innocents on their hands? Even the Nats, with their hypertrophied state security apparatus and appeals to bigotry, weren't that bad.

Sensing her distress, Fernando stood to address the assembled diners after the main course had been taken away, and they rose in ragged unison in response. "As much as Her Highness and I have enjoyed your company," he said, "I fear we must take our leave of you now. As you can imagine, tomorrow promises to be a rather busy day for both of us."

There was laughter and calls of "Long live the King" from the diners, and Sophia followed Fernando from the dining hall. Two Palace Guards fell in behind them as they walked.

"Fernando," she said quietly in English, "did you hear what that man said? And he meant it, too!"

Fernando's expression was severe. "I will not lie to you," he answered in the same language. "This land you are to reign over holds many dark secrets. Some of them I know, others I guess at, and some I think the Prime Minister still withholds from me. But I knew there were men like Buceli backing Elbittar when he first asked me to become King. I felt then as you do now. Nevertheless, I chose to accept his offer, because there needs to be someone in this country in a position of authority to champion those whom Buceli and those like him victimise. I cannot force the Prime Minister to abide by the rule of law. I can only sway him by force of example, and by appealing to his desire for legitimacy. When you are my Queen, and Queen of New Granada, this will be your task as well.

"If you cannot accept this, then it is not too late even now to break our engagement and cancel the wedding. I will not blame you if you do so, for there is not a day that passes here when I do not question my own wisdom in accepting Elbittar's offer. There is always the danger that we will allow ourselves to become complacent, and little by little let ourselves be corrupted by the evil that is around us. Despite this risk to our souls, I believe that we can make a difference in the lives of the people here, and bring calm and amity to this troubled land. And I cannot think of anyone I would rather have by my side in this dangerous task than you."

He paused in his forward progress, turned to her, then sank down on one knee. The Palace Guards remained a discreet distance behind them. "This is the choice I offer you, Sophia, an opportunity for great good, and a threat of great evil. Will you accept this choice, and be the Queen of this land, and the queen of my heart?"

It seemed to Sophia then that she fell in love with Fernando all over again. "I will, my love," she answered softly.

He rose then, and took her into his arms and kissed her, and for that brief moment, Sophia was content with her choice.

Forward to FAN #140: Really Boring Stuff.

Forward to 10 October 1974: Ramadan.

Forward to New Granada: Apocalypse Soon.

Return to For All Nails.